Shadow's weird encounter
by OMGLemmingBus
Summary: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. Total crack-fic-iness. Shadow wakes up one day to find himself in a world where nearly everything has been reversed. Nearly. Read and review? Please? AU


Author's Note: Total crack-fic-iness. Let me know if I should continue to write or if I should give up hope and bash my head against a wall.  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, okay? I just get owned by it....

Shadow's weird encounter

"Good morning Cloud Cuckoo Land! Today the sky is a lovely emerald green and the clouds have changed from their week-lasting vanilla taste to an absolutely gorgeous chocolate swirl. Guaranteed to make you HYPER! So up and at 'em!"

"Ow my head!" mumbled the black hedgehog. It felt as if a mega-speaker had turned itself on in his head. Dragging himself to his feet, Shadow glared round from under the spiky black and red mop of hair that had fallen over his eyes. He stumbled backwards. "What the…?" In front of Shadow was a house, nothing strange about that, except for the fact that it was floating a metre above the ground with a rusty anchor holding it to soft green grass that he was standing on. Shaking the hair out of his eyes Shadow noticed that the building looked like a giant cloud. He reached up to touch it, it was _made_ of cloud!

"Oi! Get your flaming mitts off my house!" Came a piercing voice from inside. Startled, Shadow jumped backwards narrowly missing a rock that hadn't been there previously. "Get out me way" mumbled the rock and hopped into a crowd of people (well objects really) all heading towards a stadium called Wig-wig pit.

'Where am I?' Thought Shadow watching the rush of things go crawling/flapping, well, anything you can think of really, go past along the springy path. Suddenly a familiar figure drifted into his sightline. It was Omega! Relived to see a friendly (relatively speaking) face he dashed over to intercept the robot. Shadow had to push past a variety of household objects like saucepans, toasters, whisks, and a cupboard with wings flying a few centimetres above the bouncy path. Eventually he reached Omega who was either ignoring him or hadn't realised he was there.

"Omega?" Shadow questioned. "Don't you recognise me?" 'God this sounds like a crummy movie' he thought. Omega grinded to halt and glared, well, stared at him.

"Should I?" Demanded a harsh, grating, metallic voice. Omega made as if to push past him but Shadow held his ground. "Get out of my way runt!" The tin can in front of him demanded.

"Omega, this is no time to be fooling around. Something strange is going on."

"The only thing strange round here is that you know my owners name for me. Now get out of my way before I exterminate you for holding up my errand." Came the voice from inside the metal cover.

"What?" Shadow shook his head. "You don't have an owner… You swore to kill Dr Robotnic!"

"I would never swear to kill my charge's grandfather Dr Gerald Robotnic." Replied Omega, lifted Shadow up by the ear and flung him aside. The distracted robot went with the flow of the crowd leaving Shadow nursing his ear and muttering curses under his breath. Shadow stood up and watched Omega go but as Omega disappeared from view someone else caught his eye. A dark figure was looking round furtively before darting into an alleyway. Shadow sped after him thinking of the GUN logo he had seen on the figures hoodie.

"Did you get it?" Whispered a croaky voice from the shadows.

"Yeah, special package to-"

"Ssshhh don't mention their names in public!" Hissed the voice. From behind the dustbin Shadow listened to the instructions. From what he could hear the GUN members had stolen something from Gerald Robotnic and were planning to take it to their leaders, whoever they were. 'GUN stealing?' Shadow thought. Suddenly the first member sped off out of the alley. Quickly, Shadow got to his feet and, making sure that he wasn't seen by the unknown voice, chased after him. However he didn't get far before he tripped over a hunched form wrapped in newspaper.

"Dman you, you stupid.....!" Shadow swore at the person hunched there before he realised who it was. Huddled under the 'Daily Cloud' big moustache quivering as he played the dirt-covered harmonica, it was Eggman. "Doctor?" exclaimed Shadow. "What are you doing here?" He gestured at the newspapers and the harmonica.

"I'm just a poor old man with nowhere to go. Any change?"

"Er-no…" Said Shadow edging towards the exit of the alley.

"And by the way young hedgehog, I'm not a doctor." Robotnic sighed and drew the newspapers closer to him and started to play 'Yellow Submarine' on the harmonica. Hastily retreated out of the alley and ran off after the lone GUN member. Suddenly the figure stopped, flashed a pass at a short, stumpy, muscular bouncer guarding a lift. The lift led to what looked like another cloud called, according to the sign, Uppercloud. The lift was powered by rockets and looked like it was going at least 100 miles per hour.

Shadow screeched to a halt next to the bouncer guy. 'What am I going to do? I haven't got a pass.' He thought. The GUN member was getting further away from him. Shadow tapped his foot with impatience before reaching a decision. He leaped up and aimed a flying kick at the bouncers head. Unfortunately the bouncer reached up, caught Shadow's foot and flung him to one side.

"Hold it right there! He's a friend of mine!" Came a deep voice from up above. The bouncer looked up, only to be squashed by a large, purple, furry cat in a black suit and top hat which had used an umbrella to float down. Moaning Shadow picked himself up and stared at the new arrival. "Hello there Shadow. It's me again, Big! Running more errands for the Master are we?" The large cat said, patting him on the head.

"What….?" Shadow could only stare at the cat beaming back at him. Big's expression changed to one of sadness.

"Don't you remember your old friend Big? What are you doing down in Undercloud without your pass? Did you leave it at home again with your Master?" The big cat started to tut. "Shadow, you are silly. Do you need a lift?" The cat stepped off of the squashed bouncer, who moaned loudly, and pulled Shadow into the lift with him.

When they got to the top of the lift shaft Big pushed Shadow out first, the lift sped back down and Shadow's mouth fell open at the sight of all the wealth evident on top of the cloud. Gold anchors held huge cloud buildings onto large lustrous patches of emerald green grass. Everywhere he looked Shadow could see posh business men carrying suitcases and rich children playing with robots who looked as if they were servants. When he glanced round he realised that Big had started to walk away.

'Oh great" Thought Shadow, "This calls for some quick thinking!" He ran after Big who although was quite large was making a fast pace.

"Big! I…err…think I might be suffering from amnesia…I can't remember where I live…Do you know?" Big looked at Shadow suspiciously and frowned.

"Ah, yes I remember! Follow me old buddy!" He cried out loud and started to jog off at quite a fast speed. Shadow followed him to a posh area of the town where Big suddenly stopped outside a high-tech looking door. 'Please no!' Pleaded Shadow desperately in his head. "I have to leave you here, I'm afraid it doesn't recognise my DNA, only yours and his. Goodbye Shadow, hope you remember where you live next time!"

Taking a deep breath as Big left him Shadow couldn't help but dread whoever his so called 'Master' was. 'So much paranoia in one place can only mean one person' He pressed the doorbell.

After much scanning and DNA comparing later, the door opened, something grabbed Shadow and the door shut behind him. Inside was smoky and noisy. Shadow had to clear his throat before continuing on through the dark. Strange clanking noises were coming from behind a steel door. A huge explosion came from inside it. Suddenly the door swung open and a dark silhouette came striding out and stood triumphantly before him. Then it collapsed to the ground coughing on the fumes from the explosion. Shadow raised an eyebrow. The choking figure suddenly straightened up, coughed to clear his throat and started to brush the soot off of his orange fur.

"What took you so long? I sent you on that errand three days ago! You should have been back five seconds ago! Timing is everything!" He paused. "Have you done something with your hair?"

"What do you mean Tails?" Asked Shadow puzzled as Tails started to circle him, scratching his head. Tails looked him up and down.

"Well for one thing you used to have a white stripe running down, not red, and your shoes are different from the bright white ones you used to wear." Tails paused again. "And when did you start to call me Tails? It's Master or Sir to you!"

'I don't call anyone Master or Sir' Thought Shadow 'and certainly not a nine year old runt!' Tails turned round, walked into the lab and started muttering to himself. "59….43….61? No that'll never, ever work…" Shadow followed Tails into the lab when suddenly Tails spun round and glared at him.

"What do you think you're doing? NO-ONE enters my lab except with my permission. Get out and do something, anything, I don't really care as long as you don't cost me money!" A robotic arm picked Shadow up and flung him out of the door.

Half an hour later, Shadow was walking round Uppercloud with his new pass and looking at all the 'famous' buildings. He couldn't remember how he got here or why he was here at all. Heck, he didn't even know where 'here' was! He sat on a cloud bench and looked an electronic billboard showing advertisements for cloudcream (for moisturising your pet cloud), cloud scooters (pollution-free transport) and finally the new restaurant opening soon 'Crispy Cloud'.

As Shadow carried on watching, wondering how he got here, the advertisements finished and an interview appeared on the screen. Shadow did a double take. The interview was with President Storm. The grey albatross was President of Cloud Cuckoo Land! Suddenly a blue streak dashed across Shadow's line of vision with a group of policemen following, who all looked like the bouncer guy that had been squashed by Big. Curiously, Shadow got up and started to follow them taking care not to be seen by the burly, bouncer-like policemen.

Half an hour later the blue streak had been cornered in an alleyway, the policemen were guarding the entrance when Shadow arrived. They were speaking in code.

"Bee-bopped-beepo! Beepy-be-bop? Bepo!" One of them pointed into the alley. A commanding officer strode up towards them.

"What's going on?"

"We've cornered a member of the GUN gang, sir." The robots reported in unison.

"Which member?" The commander demanded.

"Most probably the notorious blue hedgehog known only as Sonic. Public enemy number two." 'What the…?' Shadow thought to himself. 'Public enemy number two is Sonic? Then who could be number one?' Suddenly a large laser burst erupted from the alley and a robot yelled out in pain. Twenty minutes later, with Shadow's help, Sonic was lying unconscious in the back of a police van.

As the door was closing a TV crew's van pulled up along the street. A green hawk burst out of the back rolling across the ground army-style microphone in hand. A pair of camera-men quickly followed and the hawk shoved Shadow out of the way running towards the policemen. "Hello, sir! We were wondering whether you would care to answer a few questions on the current situation."

AN: I hope you enjoyed it! *COUGH* Leave a review. *COUGH* Please?


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